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| You know you're from Texas if ... |
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| 1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. |
| 2. "Vacation" means going to the family reunion. |
| 3. You've seen all the big bands ten years after they were popular. |
| 4. You measure distance in minutes. |
| 5. You know several people who have hit a deer. |
| 6. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. |
| 7. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. |
| 8. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. |
| 9. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better." |
| 10. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks. |
| 11. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies. |
| 12. You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals. |
| 13. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no |
| one in it, no matter what time of the year. |
| 14. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store. |
| 15. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal. |
| 16. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. |
| 17. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. |
| 18. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car. |
| 19. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is. |
| 20. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco!! |
| 21. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent. |
| 22. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts. |
| 23. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports. |
| 24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. |
| 25. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. |
| 26. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm." |
| 27. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer,and Christmas. |
| 28. You know whether another Texan is from southern, central, or |
| northern Texas as soon as they open their mouth. |
| 29. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more. |
| 30. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World." |
| 31. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. |
| 32. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. |
| 33. You recognize that cheese grits and catfish nuggets is a meal |
| that must have been bestowed upon the people by the Lord Himself. |
| 34. You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread with flavored flour and water (a delicacy known as "biscuits n' gravy"). |
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