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You know you're from Texas if ... |
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1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. |
2. "Vacation" means going to the family reunion. |
3. You've seen all the big bands ten years after they were popular. |
4. You measure distance in minutes. |
5. You know several people who have hit a deer. |
6. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. |
7. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. |
8. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. |
9. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better." |
10. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks. |
11. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies. |
12. You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals. |
13. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no |
one in it, no matter what time of the year. |
14. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store. |
15. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal. |
16. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. |
17. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. |
18. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car. |
19. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is. |
20. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco!! |
21. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent. |
22. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts. |
23. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports. |
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. |
25. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. |
26. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm." |
27. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer,and Christmas. |
28. You know whether another Texan is from southern, central, or |
northern Texas as soon as they open their mouth. |
29. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more. |
30. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World." |
31. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. |
32. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. |
33. You recognize that cheese grits and catfish nuggets is a meal |
that must have been bestowed upon the people by the Lord Himself. |
34. You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread with flavored flour and water (a delicacy known as "biscuits n' gravy"). |
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